!!! Липсваш ми много !!!

      So I have reached this new place and I would write about my experiences of this new place soon but for now I want to write about how much I miss her..The day I reached here, she too had came back home from her trip early this morning, but I reached at my place only in the afternoon. I was already late for the office and my mobile battery was completely drained. I went to my PG room that my friend had chosen and the first thing I did was to charge my mobile. In the meantime I got ready for the office in the next 10 minutes after a tiring journey of almost 20 hours on the last seat of the bus. I was awake till early morning while traveling, partly due to the seat allotment and moreover waiting for her to reach home safely and ping me about it. As soon as I got ready, my phone rang and my roomie gave me the phone and I saw her name on the screen. First ever call from someone close at this new place..and it was her. But to my apathy I was in a hurry, I answered the call and told her that am being late and I'll get back to you soon and don't worry I have reached here safely without even listening to what she had to say. She said OK and I hanged up the call. 

 Her exams were starting in the coming weekend and obviously it was not possible for us to have convos as long as always. But still we did as much as possible before bedtime, where I took report of how much learning she had completed and what next is to be done. It was for a very less period of time as compared to what we did when we were in the same city, afternoons...evenings after dinner and continuously going on till late night when I would reach home from office. I decided to reach out to her every morning wishing her a good day and would call her on the day of exam when she wakes up...when reaches the exam center and after the exam is over. But she was not happy with the idea pertaining to my night shift, she wanted me to sleep undisturbed...but stubborn as she calls me...I didn't agree much. So mutually we agreed the calling part on exam days and rest of the days she would give a miss call when she wakes up. She argued a lot on this and finally agreed. It went smooth for a while but then again something came to her mind and she stopped giving the miss call. So I decided to wake up and give it. She was very much angry on that part but I didn't want to argue with her and that too during her exams. So I finally gave up. 

  All this time I was trying to adjust with the new city, new office, my new home, food habits and all alone in it....and away from the only one I wanted to be with in my life. Its life and it can turn out in any way, giving you the biggest surprises and shocks. Recently I had both of them in a very short span of time. And at one instance I had both of them at the same time. I told her about what was happening around me in the convos we had, and 10 days later I couldn't control myself and told her how badly I missed her. She tried to be arrogant by saying, you should not miss me and concentrate on what you have gone for. How could I explain to her about my situation here....what I was going through....But I had to control myself...owing to her exam time. Next day with the morning message she replied with a lot of things...something like taking her step backward from what I had chosen her for..telling me she doesn't fit there anymore...and not left worth for that...I kept arguing on this...Somewhere with all things going on lately in my life and this convo made me think that she's gone...I tried to call her instead of continuing with message but she didn't pick up and hanged up on me...This created a more strong feeling....I tried continuously to reach her....22 times in a row...but she didn't pick up. When I saw her messages, she said she can't pick up due to her constraints but my mind was not ready to accept it. I tried calling again thinking she is lying because she didn't want to talk to me. And then she used the words which I never thought to do to her even in my dreams...Soon she went offline and switched off her phone...I kept on trying again and again continuously for another 30 minutes but no reply...When she came back online after sometime...I requested her to talk once and she agreed with a lot of anger. When I called her after sometime...she just erupted like a volcano on me...said the harshest words ever to me....but I had to control. I faked laughter on some of them and calmed her down...as I didn't want this to affect her results at all. I was the one who was supposed to be angry on what she had done but instead I chose the opposite because more then words or anger, I cared about our relationship.

  In all this I couldn't talk to her about how pathetic I was feeling after what she had told me in the convos and hearing the harshest words from her. But according to her I was guilty and so I decided not to eat or drink even water the entire day as a part of my punishment. I went offline...since I didn't want to disturb her anymore. I didn't came online for the entire day. When I came back home after the night shift, I saw her messages...asking for my well being...about how difficult it is to bear her and her anger and she would continue to message me even if I don't wanna. I explained to her what I did to myself as punishment and why I did that and wished her morning and went offline. She was not happy with what I did to myself...but we both didn't wanna things to go this way. It was a first big fight between us and glad we sorted it out as adults. We continued as mutually decided but I won't call her twice if she didn't pick up the call during her exam days or any other day as strictly instructed by her and somewhere now I was afraid as well going against her. Everything went smooth till her exams were over and I was hoping of a good convo for a long time. But I almost forgot about her plans to attend cousin's wedding and all the things she had to do before that...Also she told me how busy she is at work after the study leave's and the task she had in her bin. I was happy with what she was doing and even congratulated her about it. So obviously I had to take a step backward as she had many things already on board and adding me on it would do no good to her or me for the matter of fact. The amount of convos were lowered day by day and it was understandable. I was feeling low due to many things going on and now I didn't had anyone to talk about it too. Somehow she understood that one day and called me up to check on me and instantly there was a big smile on my face forgetting everything that was happening to me. I was glad she had called me. 

  Soon it was my birthday...I thought she wouldn't remember and I tried to be normal as well...and I avoided talking as she was very tired. She called up at 12.05 am, wished me and I tried to fake it but she was sure about it. That had made my day already. Next day she told me about when she is leaving and how many things are left and all. I could understand how busy she was and had to console myself and be glad with all the time she gave to me. Soon the day came when she was going....and we did our regular thing when one of us goes somewhere. I knew she would get more busy but still we had regular convo and the next day, she told me she would be gone for 2 days and would not be able to message me and would let me know when she is back...I knew what she was going for and I couldn't agree more to that. Besides she was very excited about the wedding and I wanted her to completely enjoy it and didn't want to bother her with me..2 days...3 days...the Wedding day...5 days...6 days...7 days...Still No message from her. I was not sure if she had her phone or not and didn't knew how should I reach her..I tried a trick with the messenger sms request which she saw in sometime and replied me as the good old days on social media app. She told me how busy she was these days and the network issues she was facing...I replied its Ok and ping me when you are back. She said in 2 days she will. Again the 2 days time after the 7 days wait were a lot harder to pass. But had to pass them anyways...On the 2nd day I felt like she would be traveling and I waited for her to inform me as always but she didn't ping me and I thought she is not coming today. But late night I felt like she is indeed coming back and I was up till the time she reaches home normally and kept checking on the train, but still she had not pinged me...but I knew she was back and would message me later.

  Same day before her bedtime, there was her ping and a big smile on my face. I asked her if she is back and she replied YES. I felt a bit angry because she had not informed me about it and she told that how does it matters and that finally she is here safe...Again we started with the normal talk as always but this time or now a days it is short enough compared to our normal time, like just the time before bed wishing Good Night to each other. I knew she was busy these days, tired after coming back from a wedding and then I came to know she was not well too all these days... I felt isolated that she didn't lemme knew about it...but her reason was not to make me anguish thinking about her. But knowing it now had made me more worried about her. She felt better in coming days, but she did something which again made her health low. I was again angry with her on this and she earlier denied to tell me the reason for it but eventually ended up telling me unlike other times. Yes she likes to share only what she is confident of telling, analyzing the consequences...otherwise holding back is an great quality of hers. I complained her about me being patient to talk to the normal her while she was busy these two months...and she said Good...you have to be more patient for some more days and replied I will...But I want you back asap.

P.S. First of all, I am dedicating this to our 6 months of friendship and togetherness...It was a great time of my life with all the ups and downs, sharing and discussing it all with you. I wish that this time would never end in our lives and we just grow old together and make our lives divine. Talking about the current situation we are facing....either you being Busy Bee or me being miles away...this time shall go away soon and we'll be together...Just in this course of time, we should not forget of how close we were...and what kinda relationship we share...and the original WE that had started six months ago.... I know its not possible to stay like that always but whenever we have sometime, we could behave as earlier times...forgetting about the world around us...talking for hours and not looking at the time passed and enjoying it to the fullest and the shmiles we had (yes the extra h's I missh in convos being used by you). With this I rest my pen for now hoping for your coordination as always. Bash!!! ;P

"Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte
Tere bina kya wajood mera 
Tujhse juda agar ho jaayenge
Toh khud se hi ho jaayenge judaa
Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho
Tera mera rishta hai kaisa
Ik pal door gawara nahi
Tere liye har roz hai jeete
Tujh ko diya mera waqt sabhi
Koi lamha mera na ho tere bina
Har saans pe naam tera
Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho
Tumhi ho... Tumhi ho...
Tere liye hi jiya main
Khud ko jo yun de diya hai
Teri wafa ne mujhko sambhala
Saare ghamon ko dil se nikala
Tere saath mera hai naseeb juda
Tujhe paake adhoora naa raha hmm..
Kyunki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho..
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho"

Finally dedicating the song of my life to YOU.... ;) :*