(Continuing from A Journey to Remember)
The
feeling that I had from the last few hours was just awesome....I joined
my parents and we went to my uncle's house there. It was a plan of a day more (the present Sunday and Monday). But her plan of stay was
entire week. We continued to talk when ever we could get some time on
these days because basically her stay was pleasant but mine was
boring except the convos with her.
I again boarded the train for my return journey and text her that we won't have convos until she is away. She replied
affirmatively to that and we stopped the convos for some days...I don't
know whether she was feeling the same way or not but I was badly missing
her and our convos and was just waiting for her to come back. When the day
arrived she said "Same journey, same coach but you know what's missing..."
and I knew whom it was for with a wide smile on my face. The regular
convos started again upon her arrival with some hiccups mostly from my
side. The next big thing I wanted was to meet her after that short
trailer. We had already discussed this many times in our convos but I
wanted her to be first comfortable to meet me, when I had given her so
many reasons not to. But she always replied positively about the meet despite of all the hiccups. I was just waiting for that day to
come and few weeks later on a weekend, we were planning our first meet or
should I say "date". It was an
awesome feeling, I wanted everything to be perfect...the place, ambiance
etc. Finally we decided on a date and time according to our prior commitments. It was decided to meet exactly after 7 days and the
countdown had began...I used to bore her with the countdown message
everyday. I was excited and not at all nervous, but she was a bit nervous and that was quite clear in her convos. But
as the days went by, the nervousness was gonna be transferred on my
side and she would feel more comfortable as she had let me know. She had
asked me something for the first time and I wanted to give it to her at
any cost. But the cost was not at all that big but the moments it gave
were priceless.
Finally the day was nearby, I was thinking of how it would go and
whether everything would be fine or not. The night before my or should I
say ours big day, the convo went on till late night more then our
normal time and I had many things left from my side on the To-do list.
The most important of them was to take the chocolate that was
left from our last meet and the second most was to go through all our
convos till date to keep track of everything that had happened between
us and the things that we said, we would share when we meet
face-to-face. We exchanged quick Bye's only to see each other soon in
the morning. Co-accidently (Ya we used this word) this time my parents were not at home, so I
could go on and on for late night but had to get up early to complete some
household chores and get ready for the big day. Yes it was a very big
day for me, probably it was going to be the best one for which I was
waiting from the last 24 years. But this time, I was not at all nervous
as I thought I would be...was just being normal and calm. I completed the
chores soon and started to get ready and wanted to look perfect more
then the last time...but the time went away so fast and I was already
running late by 10 minutes to the scheduled time. I quickly went to the
ATM and then got something for her...which she likes the most and had
also asked for the same in the convos. I messaged her of me being running late
and there was no reply from her side by then. Though it was a Sunday,
the trains were packed as any normal working day and there was no
connecting train from the nearby platforms. The first train at that moment to my
destination was on the platform far away from my current one and so I had to sprint to get
in it on time before it departs. After I got into the train I checked her message and there were like 6-7 messages from her, even some
of them were before my last one which were loaded this time. She had
already reached on time and was waiting for me...but in her message she
bullied me by saying, she would go away in the next train, whether I am
gonna join her or not? and many more things...but the last one read...I
will wait....got down at station and sitting.
My heart was pumping heavily now as the station was coming near by and I went closer to the gate and the train was entering the station at that moment...I saw her sitting there, looking for me in the train...I got down before the train stopped and moved towards her...she got up and I caught my ears for being late, making her wait while I should have been there before her or at-least should have been there on time. She said me something which I didn't remember because my attention was grabbed on how fab she was looking and I turned away my face from her to be in my limits. I asked her whether she wanna go somewhere else or the same place that we had decided or rather where I wanted to take her and she told "NO, lets go there only.." The next thing she was asking me was about being late in a sarcastic way, whether I was doing household chores and I replied to that with a Yes and the list of work I did this morning.. All this time I was walking ahead of her and slightly faced towards her. We went to the nearby rick stop and I asked her to wait, while I'll go and get a rick for us. I got one and asked her to get inside the rick and I followed her inside..I hesitated to start a convo so I started it with the driver asking him if he knows the exact location and whether he can drop us at the place itself. (Yes we went to a place which was new for both of us.) He replied to leave us on the landmark and we need to find it out after that. At that moment, we stopped at a signal, where two lady beggars approached us and gave blessing to us as a couple...I shooed them away without realizing how important that was for me...Then I looked at her and she was like "Pata nai yaar, yeh log aisa kyu karte hai...kisi ko bhi saath mein dekh kar aisa aashwirwad kaise de sakte hai..." I was thinking like "Yehi toh mujhe chahiye tha..." and then we discussed how these beggars especially small children harass to get some money.
As soon as there was some silence, I did a hand gesture to let her know how beautiful she was looking...and the expression she was gave at that moment was priceless for me..I wanted to hold her hand but knew my limits and stopped myself...soon I gave her what I had brought for her and asked her to give one of them to her sis who was covering for both of us...We again started with some regular discussion and soon the rick stopped, driver told us this is our landmark. I asked her if its OK to get down here and search the location on our own and if she was fine with it. I gave Rs 50 note to driver and the meter read Rs.29, he gave me a note of Rs.20 and for the first time I let go my one rupee that too with happiness and even without the driver asking for it. I asked an uncle going nearby about the address and he pointed in the opposite direction..I said her Lets go...again I wanted to hold her hand while we were crossing the road but my limits didn't allow me to do that and I was walking a feet away from her but checked if she was crossing safely...Now we were walking close to each other and our store was just few steps away. I opened the door for her and we entered inside and asked her where should we settle down...she chose to sit at the last while I suggested her to sit at a nearby seats but we went to the last seats and I offered her seat by pulling it back for her...never did anything like this before but was trying to do whatever I knew or saw. But she said its Ok and got ithe opposite seat..we shared a light joke on her seat position and she told lets go where you wanted to sit but I felt we were sitting at the perfect place. To get started I asked what would she like to have and she said to just wait for sometime...I said Ok. She went through her bag and gave two chocs, one each for my best friends and then a gift for me...
I
was shocked...what should I do because I didn't had any experience of
accepting gifts and that too from a girl....I said NO but she said, she
would go away if I don't accept it...also god won't spare me for this if I
don't accept it...I knew she won't go, but I gave up on my guilt and
accepted it. I behaved rudely, even didn't thank her for the gift or opened
that in front of her...After sometime she said its ok to order now and I
asked her choice of drink and she selected the same one which I wanted
her to have. I went to the counter to order it and returned to her....we
started talking again and then I told her everything about me and my
life...nobody had heard me with this concentration...I was constantly
looking into her eyes and talking...she did became conscious at moments
every now and then and I would take my eyes off for a moment and then
again into her eyes and face.Whatever I was talking to her was not at
all planned and was just coming out directly from somewhere...
My heart was pumping heavily now as the station was coming near by and I went closer to the gate and the train was entering the station at that moment...I saw her sitting there, looking for me in the train...I got down before the train stopped and moved towards her...she got up and I caught my ears for being late, making her wait while I should have been there before her or at-least should have been there on time. She said me something which I didn't remember because my attention was grabbed on how fab she was looking and I turned away my face from her to be in my limits. I asked her whether she wanna go somewhere else or the same place that we had decided or rather where I wanted to take her and she told "NO, lets go there only.." The next thing she was asking me was about being late in a sarcastic way, whether I was doing household chores and I replied to that with a Yes and the list of work I did this morning.. All this time I was walking ahead of her and slightly faced towards her. We went to the nearby rick stop and I asked her to wait, while I'll go and get a rick for us. I got one and asked her to get inside the rick and I followed her inside..I hesitated to start a convo so I started it with the driver asking him if he knows the exact location and whether he can drop us at the place itself. (Yes we went to a place which was new for both of us.) He replied to leave us on the landmark and we need to find it out after that. At that moment, we stopped at a signal, where two lady beggars approached us and gave blessing to us as a couple...I shooed them away without realizing how important that was for me...Then I looked at her and she was like "Pata nai yaar, yeh log aisa kyu karte hai...kisi ko bhi saath mein dekh kar aisa aashwirwad kaise de sakte hai..." I was thinking like "Yehi toh mujhe chahiye tha..." and then we discussed how these beggars especially small children harass to get some money.
As soon as there was some silence, I did a hand gesture to let her know how beautiful she was looking...and the expression she was gave at that moment was priceless for me..I wanted to hold her hand but knew my limits and stopped myself...soon I gave her what I had brought for her and asked her to give one of them to her sis who was covering for both of us...We again started with some regular discussion and soon the rick stopped, driver told us this is our landmark. I asked her if its OK to get down here and search the location on our own and if she was fine with it. I gave Rs 50 note to driver and the meter read Rs.29, he gave me a note of Rs.20 and for the first time I let go my one rupee that too with happiness and even without the driver asking for it. I asked an uncle going nearby about the address and he pointed in the opposite direction..I said her Lets go...again I wanted to hold her hand while we were crossing the road but my limits didn't allow me to do that and I was walking a feet away from her but checked if she was crossing safely...Now we were walking close to each other and our store was just few steps away. I opened the door for her and we entered inside and asked her where should we settle down...she chose to sit at the last while I suggested her to sit at a nearby seats but we went to the last seats and I offered her seat by pulling it back for her...never did anything like this before but was trying to do whatever I knew or saw. But she said its Ok and got ithe opposite seat..we shared a light joke on her seat position and she told lets go where you wanted to sit but I felt we were sitting at the perfect place. To get started I asked what would she like to have and she said to just wait for sometime...I said Ok. She went through her bag and gave two chocs, one each for my best friends and then a gift for me...
It was becoming impossible for me to take my eyes off her and soon they
called us to pick up the order. She asked if she should assist me but I
denied...At least now I had something to distract myself from her, but
still I continued to do so...We discussed many things about ourselves
one by one and then came to the point which was of the most importance
and probably she came for that only. She had told me in the convos she
would win and I told her, I wont let you...but each time she was trying
to say something she felt nervous with the way I was looking at her...it
was very clear on her face and gestures. She was to be the confident
one and me the nervous one as discussed last night but things turned
around vice-verse. Our arguments went on and on without looking at the
time...I told her many things, asked her few things and she would just
blush and get nervous at whatever I did or ask her, tell her. She told
me many things about her which I actually didn't knew. She tried to get
the strength each time and speak but again she would lose it when she
saw me looking at her. Unplanned or impromptu I asked her if I can say
her the heart gushing words which I had already told her two times in
the convos..she said "No..." and her
face became so red and I said that to her...This time too I wanted
to hold her hands but her nervousness took her hands on her face and I
had to again control myself. There were many things I told her just to
let her know how I felt about her, but she was just thinking "why me??"
I tried to give her every reason I had, to convince her but her mind
didn't allow her to gulp it. Just in the same way when a first-timer
wants to have a hard drink but at the same time controls the mind to not
loose the self control. The talks were on and on and suddenly she
turned my wrist watch to have a look at time and it was time for her to
go, but she stayed. I was happy as well as worried for her...so I decided
to stay for next 30 minutes. Our discussions throughout the time were
right from past life, ex, career, future,present and what not. I was in
the flow and an store attendant approached us if we can help them taste
new thing and made me forget what I was saying...and then I was striving
hard to recollect the flow. Then she showed me her pics along with some
friends but who was looking at friends when the most beautiful one was
sitting right in front of me. I also got rude to her when she tried to
talk about her present, which I realized later in the day. The clock
showed it was time to go even if I didn't want to and somewhere even she
didn't want to.
The saying or experiment "Time moves faster when you are with your loved ones.. " became so true for me today..We got up and replied Bye to the attendant and I got the door for her...We went to the rick stand to go to the station. I had told her that it is between two stations, so it will take same time to reach the another station as well..I was under the impression that she stayed at the another station and asked if we should take rick to her home but she surprised me by saying she stays somewhere else even beyond my station...She had given me a lot of such surprises today...but I was liking each and every one of them...I asked her whether the time she spent with me was perfect or not and the thing we had at the store....she replied it was..and then went into the flow, telling me how after many days she is wearing what she likes to wear and how she enjoyed all the moments like reliving the college life. I don't know how, but I replied to her "Just think about these things you just told me and reconsider your decision..." and I looked away from her thinking in my mind did I actually said that to her? And she replied me "You always leave me in jitters..." I saw that we were nearby the station and she went through her bag and handed over a Rs.50 note for traveling expense. (She was very adamant that she would give her share for everything we spend and then only she will meet me, but somehow I managed to make her understand and paid our first date bill but would take her share for anything else we do. ) The meter this time read around Rs.40 and she was trying to pay me for the last time too..I took that and returned her change of Rs.30 which she was not taking...I told her I don't wanna touch you so please take this...and kept it on her bag. I hurriedly got down and by mistake handed over the same Rs.50 note to the driver and took the change and realized that only after the rick had passed. I wanted to keep that note to me. As it was Ganesha Festival going on, there was a pandal outside the station and there I saw her praying. We started walking towards the platform and this time I was quite near to her instead of moving ahead or away. To strike a convo I asked her, If her father would meet us around or not? To which she replied yes he is at office today but you don't need to worry about this..because it would be me who will face the music from him. I didn't knew how to reply to that but I said if required "Toh yaad kar lena mujhe..."
Soon we were looking at the indicator and the train arrived on the same platform which would take us both home and we started walking towards the front side of the train. We had decided that she would come along with me in the train when we are going back home. Suddenly when we stopped she told me "Lets skip this train and have some more time together..." I couldn't believe my ears on this and my facial expressions were mixed with shock and happiness. I respected that and told her its ok and lets see when is the next train and on which platform...Till this time the train was there...but the indicator showed there was no direct train for her in another 20 minutes but there was one for my location. She asked me, would I get a connecting train from there or we have to change platforms...I replied yes we need to change but she was ok with it...but somehow I was not and I told her lets find some silent place for us in the train on this platform and by the time we find that the train started. The train to my home location was expected in a minute and we saw it was arriving on the other platform. I told her "Moti, lets run and catch that train, you will lose some weight too... ;P" She replied with a smile and we hurried to that platform. Again I moved fast leaving her behind me and till the time we reached the platform, the train was already crowded and we decided to skip that train too. This time I was standing facing her looking into her big deep eyes and realizing that they are brown just like her natural hair color. I told her about this to which she replied "Yes I know, many people told me that..." I was not expecting this answer but can understand that she didn't knew how to react to that. The next train was only after 10 minutes and I wanted her to get into this one anyhow. We decided that the plan of going together needs to be scraped in order to get her home in time. So we started walking on the front side and again I walked ahead of her as there was too much crowd on platform...Then we were at the place where I told her about where I was waiting for her during our last train journey and where I went instead of taking a turn on this side. She said I was not here at all, so you wouldn't have found me here. We stood there itself as I thought it would be ladies compartment looking at the ladies on the other side of platform. Again I was looking at her face and could not get my eyes off it. (This time I wanted to grab that face in my hands and just... but I controlled myself to be in the limits. ) I told her to slap me and distract me from doing this as I knew I was making her feel uncomfortable..but she didn't. Instead she was telling me to look at a girl nearby who was beautiful and also about the other girl at the previous platform. I replied her "I am looking at the most beautiful girl right now.." and she replied "You always leave me speechless..."
An outstation train arrived on the platform and she told me, she had traveled in this train. She said her dad is fond of traveling and that they were deciding to go for an outing of 2-3 days and told me the location if I knew. I replied "Yes I know about all the locations...but haven't been there. I need someone to accompany me" She instantly asked me "You need company for everything na??" I replied her "Its like something which is left incomplete in my life till now and I want someone to come and complete that for me...complete my life by being the better half literally... " By this time the train already left and it was time for our train to arrive. We came near to the edge of platform to get some space...but the coach was a general one with a lot of crowd. I wanted her to get in this train anyhow...She was saying something from behind...I told you the ladies coach is still ahead and I told her Lets run... Again I was in front and she was behind me...but somehow my right hand was stretched behind and it was hold by an another one..running on the crowded platform shooing away everybody on the way...we got near to the Ladies first class coach and just a step away I told her "Here you are...go..(leaving her hand...)" She got into the train safely and it started at the same time...She waived me with the expression to which I thought "I don't wanna go yet..." and I turned my face away thinking..."Please stay.." Then I looked at a married young lady who was smiling at me after seeing what we had did....I couldn't get into the same train as of her today on both the occasions. I climbed the foot over bridge to see which is the next train for me and from which platform and I saw it arriving at another platform and ran to get in with the gift she gave me...The train was so much crowded that I thought its good she already left...But somewhere in my mind I was thinking that if we had not skipped the first train, we would have traveled together till my home location and have ran again there to get her into the ladies compartment for the remaining journey.
TBC....maybe...
The saying or experiment "Time moves faster when you are with your loved ones.. " became so true for me today..We got up and replied Bye to the attendant and I got the door for her...We went to the rick stand to go to the station. I had told her that it is between two stations, so it will take same time to reach the another station as well..I was under the impression that she stayed at the another station and asked if we should take rick to her home but she surprised me by saying she stays somewhere else even beyond my station...She had given me a lot of such surprises today...but I was liking each and every one of them...I asked her whether the time she spent with me was perfect or not and the thing we had at the store....she replied it was..and then went into the flow, telling me how after many days she is wearing what she likes to wear and how she enjoyed all the moments like reliving the college life. I don't know how, but I replied to her "Just think about these things you just told me and reconsider your decision..." and I looked away from her thinking in my mind did I actually said that to her? And she replied me "You always leave me in jitters..." I saw that we were nearby the station and she went through her bag and handed over a Rs.50 note for traveling expense. (She was very adamant that she would give her share for everything we spend and then only she will meet me, but somehow I managed to make her understand and paid our first date bill but would take her share for anything else we do. ) The meter this time read around Rs.40 and she was trying to pay me for the last time too..I took that and returned her change of Rs.30 which she was not taking...I told her I don't wanna touch you so please take this...and kept it on her bag. I hurriedly got down and by mistake handed over the same Rs.50 note to the driver and took the change and realized that only after the rick had passed. I wanted to keep that note to me. As it was Ganesha Festival going on, there was a pandal outside the station and there I saw her praying. We started walking towards the platform and this time I was quite near to her instead of moving ahead or away. To strike a convo I asked her, If her father would meet us around or not? To which she replied yes he is at office today but you don't need to worry about this..because it would be me who will face the music from him. I didn't knew how to reply to that but I said if required "Toh yaad kar lena mujhe..."
Soon we were looking at the indicator and the train arrived on the same platform which would take us both home and we started walking towards the front side of the train. We had decided that she would come along with me in the train when we are going back home. Suddenly when we stopped she told me "Lets skip this train and have some more time together..." I couldn't believe my ears on this and my facial expressions were mixed with shock and happiness. I respected that and told her its ok and lets see when is the next train and on which platform...Till this time the train was there...but the indicator showed there was no direct train for her in another 20 minutes but there was one for my location. She asked me, would I get a connecting train from there or we have to change platforms...I replied yes we need to change but she was ok with it...but somehow I was not and I told her lets find some silent place for us in the train on this platform and by the time we find that the train started. The train to my home location was expected in a minute and we saw it was arriving on the other platform. I told her "Moti, lets run and catch that train, you will lose some weight too... ;P" She replied with a smile and we hurried to that platform. Again I moved fast leaving her behind me and till the time we reached the platform, the train was already crowded and we decided to skip that train too. This time I was standing facing her looking into her big deep eyes and realizing that they are brown just like her natural hair color. I told her about this to which she replied "Yes I know, many people told me that..." I was not expecting this answer but can understand that she didn't knew how to react to that. The next train was only after 10 minutes and I wanted her to get into this one anyhow. We decided that the plan of going together needs to be scraped in order to get her home in time. So we started walking on the front side and again I walked ahead of her as there was too much crowd on platform...Then we were at the place where I told her about where I was waiting for her during our last train journey and where I went instead of taking a turn on this side. She said I was not here at all, so you wouldn't have found me here. We stood there itself as I thought it would be ladies compartment looking at the ladies on the other side of platform. Again I was looking at her face and could not get my eyes off it. (This time I wanted to grab that face in my hands and just... but I controlled myself to be in the limits. ) I told her to slap me and distract me from doing this as I knew I was making her feel uncomfortable..but she didn't. Instead she was telling me to look at a girl nearby who was beautiful and also about the other girl at the previous platform. I replied her "I am looking at the most beautiful girl right now.." and she replied "You always leave me speechless..."
An outstation train arrived on the platform and she told me, she had traveled in this train. She said her dad is fond of traveling and that they were deciding to go for an outing of 2-3 days and told me the location if I knew. I replied "Yes I know about all the locations...but haven't been there. I need someone to accompany me" She instantly asked me "You need company for everything na??" I replied her "Its like something which is left incomplete in my life till now and I want someone to come and complete that for me...complete my life by being the better half literally... " By this time the train already left and it was time for our train to arrive. We came near to the edge of platform to get some space...but the coach was a general one with a lot of crowd. I wanted her to get in this train anyhow...She was saying something from behind...I told you the ladies coach is still ahead and I told her Lets run... Again I was in front and she was behind me...but somehow my right hand was stretched behind and it was hold by an another one..running on the crowded platform shooing away everybody on the way...we got near to the Ladies first class coach and just a step away I told her "Here you are...go..(leaving her hand...)" She got into the train safely and it started at the same time...She waived me with the expression to which I thought "I don't wanna go yet..." and I turned my face away thinking..."Please stay.." Then I looked at a married young lady who was smiling at me after seeing what we had did....I couldn't get into the same train as of her today on both the occasions. I climbed the foot over bridge to see which is the next train for me and from which platform and I saw it arriving at another platform and ran to get in with the gift she gave me...The train was so much crowded that I thought its good she already left...But somewhere in my mind I was thinking that if we had not skipped the first train, we would have traveled together till my home location and have ran again there to get her into the ladies compartment for the remaining journey.
TBC....maybe...
P.S.: Thanks would be a small word to say for the precious moments that you gave me today and above all you trusted me to spend your valuable time, though you had all the constraints and odds in your life. I saw a new side of me today which I thought never existed...be it the confi I am talking about or you know what I am talking about...Ya I also did some mistakes today which were being rude to you when you wanted to talk about your present or the regret from what happened to you even when I was there...but the most memorable parts were your blushing face when you asked to skip the train....the way I was looking at you at the platform and asked you to slap me.....and the one when we ran holding hands. But the moment when I had to leave your hand and you waived from the moving train were the most painful. I hope it was the same for you as well.....
I know you wanted to visit that flyover where I find the solace...here it is....I would take you there very shoon....
" I wish GOD makes the words of those LADIES come true soon..."
And this is for you from my side......
"Ye dil tanha kyun rahe
Kyun hum tukdon mein jiye...
Main adhoora jee raha hoon
Hardum ye keh raha hoon
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Andheron se tha mera rishta bada
Tune hi ujaalon se waaqif kiya
Ab lauta main hoon inn andheron mein phir
Toh paaya hai khud ko begaana yahaan
Tanhaayi bhi mujhse khafaa ho gayi
Banjaron ne bhi thukra diya
Main adhoora jee raha hoon
Khud par hi ik sazaa hoon
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Kyun hum tukdon mein jiye...
Main adhoora jee raha hoon
Hardum ye keh raha hoon
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Andheron se tha mera rishta bada
Tune hi ujaalon se waaqif kiya
Ab lauta main hoon inn andheron mein phir
Toh paaya hai khud ko begaana yahaan
Tanhaayi bhi mujhse khafaa ho gayi
Banjaron ne bhi thukra diya
Main adhoora jee raha hoon
Khud par hi ik sazaa hoon
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Haathon mein mere zanjeere hain
Tuhi aake inko nikaal zaraa
Kar mujhe yahaan se rihaa
Main adhoora jee raha hoon
Ye sadaayein de rahaa hoon
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai....."
Tuhi aake inko nikaal zaraa
Kar mujhe yahaan se rihaa
Main adhoora jee raha hoon
Ye sadaayein de rahaa hoon
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai
Mujhe teri Zaroorat hai....."
"I don't know what would be the climax of this chapter and how soon or long it would take...but I know one thing...I deserve the BEST as someone told me...and I don't need to tell it again and again that the BEST for me is YOU.."
